By
George Brozowski
The
other day a small box arrived at my door. It was about the
right size to hold a wristwatch. When I opened it I discovered
a small brown bottle in a sea of Styrofoam peanuts. It looked
like a cough medicine bottle but I wasn't sure because there
was no label, no note, no scribbling, no nothing, nada. I
dug through the peanuts and discovered at the bottom of the
box a small insert that finally informed me that this was
a hootch called Low Gap. As I read on it all started to make
sense in a strange way.
It
was from those insane geniuses in Ukiah, California in the
heart of Mendocino County. I am familiar with these folks
having tasted and enjoyed some of their other offerings, especially
the brandy of Germain-Robin. Crispin
Cain is the mad scientist/distiller behind this particular
creation. Turns out Crispin studied with the Frankenstein
of distilling, Hubert Germain-Robin using an antique
double-distillation copper potstill in that process and in
the process of distilling this whiskey.
OK
so what is Low Gap Whiskey? Why it's Mendocino
Moonshine! It's un-aged, un-oaked, very young, just distilled
last night and bottled early this morning whiskey made from
malted Bavarian hard wheat. Now get this, they take the wheat
and ferment it into un-hopped beer then take that beer and
distill it twice and bottle it pure and clear and
young.
They immediately take it and fill the trunks of antique, souped
up Chevy's and Ford's and rush it down from the Mendocino
mountains in the middle of the night at break neck speeds
to speakeasy's up and down the coast and even sneak it aboard
fishing trawlers in San Francisco Bay for distribution to
far off places. Well, maybe that last part was a bit of a
stretch but you get the idea.
I'll
give 'em this, it doesn't taste like moonshine at all. A sip
of real Moonshine will make you dance and holler and spin
madly about as your mouth erupts in spasms of pain from the
fire you just put on your tongue. Seconds later, as you swallow
that molten lava, your throat constricts in convulsions and
fissures form and erupt blood as it sears your insides. It
finally lands in your belly where your stomach acid ultimately
puts out the fire but not before the combination turns your
tummy into a seeping sieve that spills its contents and begins
to eat out your intestines. Now, that's real moonshine!!
This
stuff looks like either water or vodka but is a tad thicker
than either one. It has a rich nose reminiscent of fresh baked
bread or flour being worked on a kitchen table by your grandmother
on a Sunday morning. It tastes a bit like dough or bread or
even biscuits as it lays pleasantly upon the palate. It's
smooooooth going down leaving a pleasant warmth in a moderately
lasting finish. This is good California Whiskey and I can't
wait to see what it will taste like once it's had the opportunity
to rest in a barrel for a few years. I can certainly see why
they chose to go to market with this un-aged product as it
is worth the $40.00 or so per bottle.
As
I stated before, this stuff is distilled in Mendocino County
by some folks who really know what they're doing, all of which
got me to thinking. The most famous and most prolific and
world acclaimed agricultural product being grown in Mendocino
county (certainly not grapes) is marijuana, world class, high
quality marijuana! Now what would happen if these guys distilled
some of that and transformed it into Mendicino Medical Marijuana
Moonshine Whiskey Medicine?
Granted,
they would only be able to sell it through medical dispensaries
but I bet it would be a huge hit. Hell, someone in Colorado
is already making a marijuana based soda pop so why not this?
You guys listening?
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