Distinguete
Tequila
By
George Brozowski
How
in the world did early man, and for that matter early woman,
ever figure out how to eat and drink the things that they
ended up eating and drinking? I mean really, did these people
roll out of the cave in the early morning, realize their empty
stomachs were growling because they were hungry and then start
taste testing everything in sight?
Rocks
were probably very quickly discovered to be too tough to eat
and hard on the teeth. Sand, even though it went down a bit
more easily, just wasn't satisfying. Tree limbs and leaves
weren't much better although they were more tender than pebbles
and bits. Bushes and grasses were even more tender but didn't
really get the job done either. Some bugs weren't bad but
others made you puke. Besides, eating bugs all day was incredibly
tiring because they were so small you needed to find hundreds
to make the stomach stop complaining.
Eventually those cave dwellers started following animals around
for two reasons. First they observed them and ate what they
ate because they figured if it didn't make the critters up-chuck
it wouldn't hurt them either. Secondly, eventually man discovered
murder, slaughter and mayhem and started to eat the furry
ones and even each other and that led to the meat and potato
diet which is still popular today.
Back
while they were still observing animals they noticed that
the creatures really liked over ripe fruit and that it made
them stumble about and smile a lot. So man, wanting to stumble
about and smile a lot tried it and lo and behold those fermented
fruits were full of alcohol and this turned out to be the
second most important discovery of his existence. The most
important discovery came along centuries later when man realized
that woman loved diamonds and that eventually led to warfare
and the industrial revolution but that's a story for another
time.
That
whole process of trial and error gave rise to the parable
of the Mikey. This legend has reputedly been confirmed by
pictographs on cave walls discovered by archeologists in Southern
France in 1969 and confirmed through ancient monastic parchment
scrolls. The story goes that the Mikey's two brothers, Fred
and Barney were seriously tired of puking from eating the
wrong things and began incessantly arguing;
"I'm not gonna try it, you try it."
"I'm
not gonna try it and you can't make me try it, eat sand."
"I'm
not gonna eat sand again, hey I know, let's get Mikey to try
it."
Sound
familiar? That ancient text was eventually adapted, in 1972,
by the Quaker Oats Company to promote their breakfast cereal
through a memorable TV commercial.
You
see what I'm getting at? Now, let's fast forward to Mexico,
August 14th 1419 exactly 100 years before the Spanish arrive
and conquer the entire country and force everyone to speak
their language and share their VD. Three brothers, Pedro,
Jesus and Mikey are walking in the desert near Tequila Mexico
and they are hungry and thirsty and they spy this blue agave
plant sprouting from the arid desert floor. This plant is
mean and nasty looking with many long arms of really hard
green plant matter serrated along each side with pin point
sharp spikes challenging anyone to draw near and be stabbed.
Pedro whips out his switch blade and deftly slices off a spike,
shaves the needles and presents it to Jesus to try. Well Jesus
wasn't born yesterday but Mikey was so Jesus forces Mikey
to try it. Mikey bites into it but it is hard and unyielding
so he grasps it by the end and actually manages to suck a
few drops of juice out of it and smiles. Driven by their thirst,
that's enough to make Pedro and Jesus slice of some pieces
and try it themselves. At that point they realize they are
not going to get much out of it in this manner but they do
notice at the base of the plant is a large pinas (pineapple)
shaped part and they unearth the whole thing and after slicing
and dicing it they actually get enough to slake their thirst.
As luck would have it, the brothers run the local brew pub/cantina
and figure that besides brewing Corona and Dos Equis they
might get this stuff to ferment and so dug up a few pinas
to take back with them. At first they called this stuff Mikeyquila
but it didn't sell very well so they renamed it after their
home town, Tequila, and sales soared and the rest of course
is history.
If
you think my history of the Agave and Tequila is wild and
wonderful you need to go to the Distinguete Tequila site,
www.tequiladistinguido.com
and read their version of history. It is an incredible odyssey
that reads like a Mexican combination of Dallas/The Waltons/Bonanza/Zorro.
You won't be disappointed.
Now, armed with a boatload of disingenuous historical background,
it's on to the task at hand.
Distinguete
Silver: The label of this Silver Tequila looks like
it was forged out of metal and has the appearance of heavy
ancient silver and is three dimensional in its look and feel.
The liquid within is perfectly clear and clean. A snifter
full gives off a deep nose of ripe agave that is both fruity
and yet mellow. It is rich and thick on the tongue with a
bit of a peppery tickle and yet it is tame and rolls around
in the mouth like a French kiss from an old flame. It slides
down the throat smoothly with modest heat. Once it has left
the building it leaves a warmth and tingle in the mouth that
ebbs away leaving a hint of fruit and a desire to do it again.
Well worth around $45.35 for 750ml.
Distinguete
Reposado: Same heavy label but this time in pale
gold that compliments the soft, muted golden liquid inside.
The nose was disguised as a very delicate bourbon with traces
of oak. DUH, this was obviously due to being aged in oak barrels
formerly used to age bourbon. The agave aroma was fruity and
faint but still presented pleasantly, overall a very agreeable
mélange of fragrances highlighted by a top note of
vanilla. It is surprisingly sharper on the tongue than the
silver and crisper and not as thick and creamy with a more
pronounced punctuation of agave. It enters the mouth and introduces
itself to the tongue in no uncertain terms while speaking
loudly enough to be heard by the rest of the mouth. It then
lies down quietly upon the tongue in quiet ambush and when
finally swallowed exposes its sharp agave highlights and bourbon
shadows. It finishes with a peppery, alcohol inspired tingle
that lingers a while. As I move my tongue around in my mouth
I find pleasant pockets of residual pepper that momentarily
reignite my taste buds. $48.41 for 750ml.
Distinguete
Anejo: Heavy metal label with 3D lettering complete
this trio however in a deeper gold complementing the more
vibrant golden color of the liquid inside. Much more mellow
and richer and thicker aroma than the Reposado. When introduced
to the nose the vanilla leads the conversation with the oak
mumbling at the back of the pack. As I take my first sip I
acknowledge that this is more the direction I expected the
previous Reposado to take but I reckon that a few years of
ageing as compared to a few months can make a bit of a difference
(for those of you who are not familiar with the term "understatement",
that last remark was a prime example). This is prime Tequila
that demurely enters the mouth, tenderly introduces itself
to everyone, takes off its coat and proceeds to make friends.
Its demeanor is warm and welcome like a young Audrey Hepburn
in "Breakfast at Tiffany's" whose charm cannot be
ignored even though she is flirty yet deep just like this
tequila. $52.73 for 750ml.
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